The Ham

The Ham is a sentient object that appears in How To Prepare Christmas Ham. HowToBasic treats it like a child.

Things HowToBasic did with the Ham

 * 1) Give it a bath
 * 2) Brush it’s “teeth”
 * 3) Let it watch TV
 * 4) Give it a diaper
 * 5) Potty train it
 * 6) tickle it
 * 7) Teach it how to ride a bike (this failed)
 * 8) Do CPR on it.

Role
HowToBasic gives birth to a ham. HowToBasic calms the crying ham. Then he tickles it. He bathe the ham, he dries the ham. The ham cries. HowToBasic calms it down with rattles. HowToBasic gives the ham a diaper and baby clothes. HowToBasic brushes the ham’s teeth. The ham cries again. HowToBasic calms it down with rattles. He gives the ham a pacifier. HowToBasic switches the lights off, making it sleep. The next day, HowToBasic feed the ham. He feeds it milk. He let the ham watch TV. The show that ham watches is Blippi. HowToBasic potty trains the ham. HowToBasic learn the ham the alphabet. The ham says “A, B, C”. He tickles it. He teaches it how to ride a trike. The trike hits a wall, making the ham dying on impact. HowToBasic tries desperately to revive the ham, to no avail. A montage showing flashbacks of the ham is shown. After the montage, the picture shows the picture of a ham, with the text “1 Like = 1 Prayer” superimposed under the ham. HowToBasic cooks the ham in the oven, smashes it with a shovel. He throws cloves, brown sugar, Dijon mustard, maple syrup, honey, and an egg. HowToBasic mixes the ham and the ingredients together with his hand. He eats the ham.